Why are we confused and lost at times? | The Center for Self Development

Why are we confused and lost at times?

From the time you are born until the time you die, you experience Life. You separate Life into Events that can range from a moment to a larger segment of time. You perceive these Events on a spectrum between Painful and Pleasurable. Your recollection of what you experience forms your individual Belief System.

Your Belief System evaluates circumstances and forms a Response. As you Respond to each Event, your Response affects the Outcome, which is essentially a new Event. This continuous cycle of Event – Response – Outcome combines to create what we refer to as the Flow of Life.

This Flow of Life sequence appear to be common sense It exemplifies how most people view and Respond to Life. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with this Process or its description, it still does not tell the complete story.


Pain and Pleasure excel in teaching you about the physical world. In a primitive environment where your experiences are limited strictly to physical circumstances, this works perfectly an Event inflicts a certain level of actual Pain or Pleasure to your physical body, and this Pain or Pleasure encourages you to either avoid or seek out the same Event in the future.

For most people, physical Pain and Pleasure are comparable. For instance, everyone will experience a similar level of physical Pain if they stub their toe or drop something heavy on their foot but as we humans have evolved and our brains and Consciousness have expanded, we have developed more complex interpretations and Responses to Life Events than our primitive ancestors.

Our awareness has expanded to now include the perception of psychological Pain and Pleasure, or the level of Pain and Pleasure that you think or feel an Event will bring about. Psychological Pain and Pleasure are subjective and can vary greatly between individuals.

That’s why speaking in front of a large audience may be psychologically Painful for some people, yet psychologically Pleasurable for others. Psychological Pain and Pleasure originate within your own Belief System and act as another layer that contributes to the way you Respond to Life Events.


Psychological Pain and Pleasure can cloud your Belief System by prompting false conclusions that can then create internal confusion or conflict, and this can get in the way of your achieving what you truly want in Life. It is often your own Belief System that obstructs you from living your dreams. For instance, take a look at the following example:

Someone may long to be in a meaningful, loving relationship. However, after having being through several unhealthy relationships, they may come to the false conclusion that all relationships are difficult and will eventually end in Pain. This individual may then avoid or even sabotage all future relationships to avoid what they Believe will ultimately result in a Painful Event, and this may prevent them from pursuing and enjoying a healthy relationship altogether. Their desire to avoid Pain essentially overrides their desire for a healthy relationship.

Although the example above deals with relationships, this same psychological conflict can exist regarding many other aspects of your Life. Psychological Pain and Pleasure can also override your physical Pain and Pleasure Response, that is why people often develop habits that are actually physically unhealthy and stressful. The psychological Pleasure drowns out the physical Pain or stress that their body is experiencing. Staying up late, smoking, and eating junk foods are typical examples.


We are now faced with a Dilemma, as psychological Pain and Pleasure can trick you into thinking that you are benefiting from your chosen Response when, in reality, it can get in the way of your achieving your dreams, create stress, and as we will see later adversely affect your health. It is not the Events themselves that create the obstacles in your Life but your own perceptions and ineffective Responses to them. Fortunately, you can break the grip that psychological Pain and Pleasure seem to have on you and regain control of your Responses and Life by turning your attention to your Belief System.

It is possible to clear out old, inaccurate Beliefs and replace them with new, healthier ways of Responding to Life Events. But how do you accomplish this? By updating your Belief System! Remember, your Belief System is your memory and understanding of everything you were ever taught, figured out, or experienced in Life. Whenever you weed out old, outdated, or inaccurate information and increase your awareness to take in more accurate and complete information, you update your Belief System. An updated Belief System will not only improve your ability to Respond to Life’s challenges, but also it will allow you to develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of Life.

Updating your Belief System is a process of Transformation. Transformation is essentially a metamorphosis; it is a thorough or dynamic change in form, structure, character, or condition to a more evolved state by means of reorganizing, reconfiguring, and updating. Updating your Belief System involves adopting new perspectives and new ways of observing and Responding to Life Events.

This brings about a fundamental and profound change that reorients your Consciousness in a new direction. It results in a deeper level of awareness, perception, and understanding of Life; and it will allow you to become more efficient, productive, and successful in all you do. We believe that the most effective way to update your Belief System is by learning and applying the Four Stages of Transforming Your Belief System contained within THE MANUAL FOR LIFE AND CONSCIOUSNESS.

The Four Stages are Realize, Expand, Evaluate, and Refine.


Edwardo Rosso CEO, Co-Author, & Co-Developer

“The Manual for Life & Consciousness”