Sharing and Relationship: Two words that must coexist | The Center for Self Development

Sharing and Relationship: Two words that must coexist

To share is to give without any conditions or expectation of return. Sharing can be one-sided or mutual, and it can be rewarding and nourishing to both the giver and the receiver. Sharing nourishes a relationship and allows it to strengthen and grow.

Conversely, giving that is conditional. It is not sharing. It is a form of barter or exchange, and it can breed domination for the giver and dependency or resentment for the receiver. Conditional giving is ruled by the Ego looking to benefit itself, while sharing is ruled by the spiritual self-looking to spread love.

Sharing does not have to be the actual giving of a concrete, physical object. It can include intangible things, such as the sharing or giving of time, attention, conversation, appreciation, recognition, encouragement, and so forth. The impact of sharing can be determined by the value that the other person places on that which is being Shared.

Sharing also goes beyond intentional giving. If something is missing or lacking in an individual, they may value and desire it, and on some level, they may be attracted to people who possess that quality. For such individuals, they receive by being around people who possess what they desire for themselves. The giver may be totally unaware that they are even offering something of value to the other person. We refer to this as giving through affiliation. Giving through affiliation is a form of unconscious sharing.

Let’s take a closer look at intentional sharing from the perspective of the four states of consciousness. The more states of consciousness that participate in the sharing, the deeper, broader, and stronger the relationship becomes.

Sharing in the Physical State of Consciousness is the sharing of activities. When you share time together doing something that you and/or the other person enjoy, it is nourishing to your relationship. Even if one of you doesn’t enjoy the actual activity, being in the company of the other person, may be enjoyable in itself. Spending time together allows you to develop the common bonds of Shared experiences and memories.

Each person gives their time to receive the joy of experiencing together. Most people would agree that it is more pleasurable to experience something with friends and people you enjoy being around than experiencing it alone.

Although the sharing of time together is usually focused on a physical activity, the other states of consciousness will most likely be impacted as a by-product of the activity, and this can generate feelings, thoughts, and conversations.

People are most often attracted to and energized by others who exhibit health, radiance, and success or by those whom they find physically appealing. For some people, being around and spending time with people who possess these qualities result in them receiving (through affiliation) a sense of enjoyment and pleasure. This explains why many actors and athletes are so popular and in demand.

People like to surround themselves with or be around people that possess what they desire or appreciate. As you do the work of self-development and transform yourself, others will sense the change and may become attracted to what you exhibit.

For instance, as you rid your life of things that enervate or weaken you and surround yourself with things that energize and strengthen you, it will allow you to engage in more dynamic action, and people may become attracted to your energy and accomplishment.

However, this principle can also work in reverse. Some people will surround themselves with others who lack what they themselves desire. This, by comparison, gives them the illusion that they have achieved a high degree of what they desire.

Sharing in the Emotional State of Consciousness is the sharing of your emotions and feelings. Some nourishing feelings derived from relationships are a sense of belonging, being recognized (Appreciated), and being needed.

These feelings can be cultivated by sharing quality time not only with loved ones, family, friends, and groups of interest but also with nonhuman things outside of yourself, such as pets, house plants, a garden, nature, etc. Any relationship in which this sense of belonging, being recognized, or feeling needed is fulfilled will make your life more meaningful and rewarding.

Relationships provide significant opportunities to be appreciated and to offer appreciation in your life. Appreciation is as nourishing to give as it is to receive. To strengthen your relationships, tell others what you appreciate about them, and let them know when they do something that you consider extra special. This is not something that should be overdone but instead a heartfelt recognition of the other person.

It is healthy and nourishing to laugh, to be joyful, and to appreciate life with others. Focus on and engage in activities that both you and the other person enjoy that foster healthy emotions.

People desire to be around and are energized by those who are friendly, have healthy emotional responses, and are enthusiastic and highly motivated (motivation is contagious). Additionally, people are naturally drawn to others who recognize and appreciate them, as they derive (through affiliation) a sense of enjoyment and pleasure from being around such people.

As you learn to feel and express appreciation for the people and things in your life, people will feel good around you. When you exude the enthusiasm of motivation as you take action to live your life fully, you will likely find that others are attracted to and inspired by your zest for life.

Sharing in the Mental State of Consciousness is the sharing of your thoughts and ideas. Sharing your thoughts requires you to define, organize, and express what you are thinking. When you share your thoughts with others, you are exposed to their thoughts and ideas in return, and your awareness of this new and different information has the potential to broaden and expand your existing perspective and understanding. This expansion of your mind, thinking, and belief system is very nourishing.

Another mental activity that is nourishing to your relationships is planning something together. Planning together is the joining, coordination, and cooperation of two or more minds, provided that each person contributes to the plan.

Many people find it mentally energizing to be around others who have an optimistic outlook, are knowledgeable and creative, and exhibit confidence. For instance, as you rid your Life of expectations, you will become more flexible and accepting and therefore more relaxing to be around.

As you learn from life and cultivate more understanding, others may seek out your knowledge. And as you create and execute effective plans that allow you to live the life you choose; you may attract others whom you inspire and who want to learn from you.

Sharing in the Spiritual State of Consciousness is the sharing of beliefs, morals, values, and philosophies. Sharing your beliefs and values with someone brings both of you into the abstract spiritual state of consciousness.

Although you are using your mental state of consciousness to communicate your beliefs and values, you are expressing what you believe in your very core. Deep and philosophical sharing of ideals and dreams connects people on a spiritual level of understanding.

People who exhibit strong moral values, virtues, ethics, integrity, and faith are spiritually inspiring and energizing to be around. Let love, intent, and wisdom reign in your life, your pure and highly refined energies will be highly inspiring and attractive to others, as people will receive (through affiliation) a great sense of enjoyment and pleasure from just being in your company.

Sharing in all four states of consciousness. If mutual sharing takes place on a deep level in all four states of consciousness, you have what we refer to as an Integrated Relationship.

An Integrated Relationship is one in which two people mutually share their activities, emotions, thoughts, and intents in a fashion that enhances and/or balances both people in the relationship. An integrated relationship is not necessarily a goal or objective (although it can be); we use the term as a description of the deepest, fullest level of sharing. In reality only a few relationships will be compatible on all levels to the same degree.

If you are one of the fortunate ones who has found or cultivated such a relationship, you have uncovered one of the greater joys of life.

For many people, numerous relationships are needed to satisfy all their psychological needs. For example, on a physical level an individual may want to share an interest or activity with someone else who has a similar depth of interest in or passion for that specific activity.

On an emotional level someone may have a close friend who shares similar feelings and is sympathetic, and this allows them to express and exchange deep feelings.

On a mental level an individual may enjoy the company of someone else who has the same ability to explore and analyze a specific topic.

On a spiritual level someone may enjoy discussing and exchanging their views on morality or religion/spirituality with someone else who enjoys exploring these issues at the same depth.

The beauty of relationships is that they provide unlimited opportunities to share and be enriched, and the quantity of your relationships can be as numerous as your interests and needs.

Intimate relationships, by nature, tend to be more Integrated than non-intimate or casual relationships, and the sharing on the physical level generally includes sex. The shared physical and emotional bonds of intimate, sexual relationships are, ideally rooted in commitment and appreciation. Mentally there is mutual respect and understanding. Spiritually there is the sharing of beliefs, values, morals, and dreams. The more fully you and your partner can engage and unconditionally share in all four states of consciousness, the stronger and more integrated your relationship will be.


  Edwardo Rosso CEO, & Co-Developer  of 

     “The Manual for Life & Consciousness