A Conversation About Relationship | The Center for Self Development

In order to grow and evolve completely as human beings, we need to be in Relationship with things outside of ourselves. Relationships

give us the opportunity to nurture and develop certain aspects within ourselves that are impossible to develop in isolation. We are all part of a greater whole, and in order to explore and to grow our Consciousness toward the unity that exists, we must engage and participate in Relationships.

THE MANUAL 4 LIFE defines a Relationship as the state that exists between you and anyone/anything you feel connected to, associate with, or are involved with. This includes the more obvious things, such as family and friendship circles; school, work, and community/business contacts; and organizations and associations to which you belong–all of which involve mutual interaction and communication. But Relationships are not limited to people; they include anything with which you interact. Therefore, Relationships also include the less obvious things, such as your pet, your garden, the environment, and inanimate objects (i.e., your house, your car, your belongings) in fact, anything that is not “you.” In essence, a Relationship exists between you and anything with which your Consciousness interacts.

By embracing and cultivating the many Relationships in which you are engaged, you learn the importance of responsibility, giving, sharing, and working in harmony. Moreover, you become Aware of the interdependence of all things, and you wake up from the illusion of isolation to the Realization of the unity of creation. This is a gradual process that impacts all your States of Consciousness.


Relationships can enhance your Life in numerous and significant ways. Most interpersonal Relationships present opportunities to share Intentions, thoughts, feelings, and activities. This, in turn, provides opportunities to receive recognition and Appreciation, which can greatly increase your sense of self-worth. Relationships also present the opportunity to unite with others for a common purpose, and therefore they have the potential to become an entity larger than self, which can infuse you with a sense of belonging and oneness. In addition, Relationships can foster service and contribution to others, which can Shift your Awareness from self to beyond self–and this, as we learned in Chapter Nine, is essential for your spiritual evolvement. Relationships are a win-win in that they allow you to personally grow and evolve while at the same time providing growth and evolution for others.

As humans, we are attracted to and seek out Relationships that offer something that we perceive is missing in ourselves. It may be a quality or trait we would like to acquire, something that completes us on some level, or just the companionship and enjoyment of sharing common likes or objectives. This sharing can be one-sided or mutual. A mutual Relationship is one in which both participants derive some actual or perceived benefit. If there is an equal amount of give-and-take, along with respect and Understanding, a Relationship may blossom and lead to growth for both parties. However, not all Relationships are mutual. Some Relationships can weaken and drain you, especially when they provide a benefit for one party at the cost of the other. Some can even be harmful and abusive, psychologically as well as physically. A Relationship is essentially a two-way street: it can give to or take from you, it can strengthen or Enervate you, or it can Energize or drain you. Pain and Pleasure manifest as disharmony and harmony in Relationships. We tend to avoid things that may cause disharmony in our Relationships, and we tend to seek things that we Believe will provide a sense of harmony. 

If a Relationship does not occur at the right time or if it is not the right match, then learn what it has to teach you, and move on to one that is. Expecting or forcing a Relationship is disempowering. You cannot make a Relationship something it is not. This is not to say that trying to cultivate a Relationship with someone who is unreceptive at first is not worth it; just don’t become Attached to it or demand it.

From The Manual4 Life publication Co-Author Edwardo Rosso